*In Fela's voice* I want to tell you a story......seriously I do.

Sunday, 19 March 2017

Magic Street (Ajé)

Guess who's backkk!
I've really missed you guys. I haven't felt much like writing since my mum passed on except for work. I love this space though and I really missed "hanging out" with you guys .
Anyway I read a story a few days ago that I really liked and it also fits right in here, so I thought to share.
Written by the amazing Buki Bassey, Buki is a stern faced clown who is the Chief Editor at Bloom Media Services. When she's not editing, she's on twitter drinking Coke and making mouth as @proofreadership.

I know you guys will love this as much as I do.

Rio 😘😘

On a hot and humid September evening, Ajoke decided to go buy oranges at the junction to her house; it was just five houses away. She got there and saw that the orange seller, an old, withered woman, was busy washing some unpeeled oranges.
“Welcome my daughter, please pick your choice, they are all sweet oranges” she intoned smiling her encouragement.
“This woman sha, she always knows how to escape holding the nylon for me” Ajoke grumbled within herself as she went closer to the tray and started to choose.
She looked through the tray till she got to the bottom, she prides herself on knowing how to pick succulent oranges and pick she did. Until she saw a pebble in the tray, it was in no way special, just a brown pebble that probably some little boy had thrown and it landed inside the orange tray.
"I like its smoothness” she mused to herself as she took it and put it in her shopping bag, turning away as two more customers vied for the old woman's attention.

Thursday, 26 September 2013


I sat frozen in my chair. I was breathless and cold and hot all at the same time. Shina and his friend, a rather youngish looking lady sat right across from me and my friends at the pool bar.  His cursory look and casual greeting when they’d encountered us was like an icicle spear piercing my heart and spreading cold.

Four hours ago he had kissed me good morning and bye. We’d had a date for later in the day. I’d also noticed that the young lady was wearing an engagement ring which she had been intent on letting us see.

Tricia and Anwuli were all kinds of hot and bothered but we were unanimous in our opinions that it was a bad idea to make a scene. Shina’s demeanor spoke volumes and my friends and I heard it loud and clear. He’d paused to say hello to us at our table as they casually strolled by, his hands place proprietorially on the small of her back.

Anwuli thought we should leave. Tricia and I felt differently. Our lives are very busy so finding time to hang out together is always a treat and important to us. Needless to say as far as I was concerned, my day was ruined.

In shame and anger, I sat with my friends and ordered drinks while we struggled to recapture the feelings of before Shina passed by. It was an effort not to look their way so I mostly stared at the pool. I didn't see anything though, I was all a blur. I remember thinking “Men, can’t live with them, can’t live without them” and that was when it happened.

A pair of perfectly sculpted thighs appeared in front of me followed immediately by a blue swimming trunk covered bulge; a very impressive bulge. From the looks he was getting from the female folk, I wasn't the only one who thought so.

“Hi, my name is Osa……” The rest of whatever he said was lost as I drank him in. The man was perfect. My friends were gushing and giving me encouraging looks. Apparently he’d asked me I f he could join our table. I nodded. Everything else was a blur but after two hours of the sudden turnaround of my day, I was giddy with relief at the instant distraction from the pain.  We exchanged numbers and he asked me out for drinks later that night. I agreed and he left. My friends were so relieved that I didn’t get the time to mourn Shina. I was truly excited, I thought to myself, ‘’tomorrow I will think of Shina, tonight I’ll be alive”.

He looked really impressed to see me later on that day. I had really pulled out all the stops. The red lace mini dress against my fair skin looked stunning. When I got into the car he just sat looking at me with eyes clouded with desire. ‘’I want you’’. His eyes burned into me. My day had been strange; his bulge caused warm wetness to form at my south park.  I’d live and think tomorrow. So while my head said ‘’slut, this is your first date for Pete’s sake, who does that?’’ My mouth said ‘’so what are you going to do about it?’’ I noticed how beautiful his mouth was as he spoke; ‘’Wanna find out back at the hotel’’. I nodded coyly. His eyes swept over me slowly with a satisfied curve to his lips, we drove off.  We chatted easily as we drove back to where we had met earlier in the day. We got strange looks as we walked to the elevator and his room. The staff seemed familiar with him.

He brought out a bottle of champagne from an ice bucket; he’d apparently expected me back there”. We chatted and laughed as we polished off the bottle of champagne. I don’t drink usually so that was a lot for me. It was like a movie that I watched him bring out paraphernalia and begin cutting lines of coke on the coffee table.

‘’Hian, cocaine’’.  I thought. He turned to me with that sexy curve of his lips, ‘’Ever tried coke?’’ I shook my head. He bent and snorted a line. 

‘’Would you like to try it’’ 

‘’Live Anino ‘’ the voice inside my head ordered and I nodded. He showed me what to do and snorted a line. He gently pushed my head back down and I quickly snorted the second. As the powder flew into my brain and blood stream, I heard a knock on the door. He didn't hesitate as he jumped up and opened the door. A buxom beauty with very short hair walked in. she smiled at me and sat. Osa introduced her as Ineh. Ineh quickly joined the party. She sniffed three lines straight up and immediately took off her shirt. Her breasts were beautiful, encased in a sheer black bra. She kept smiling at me. Osa sat next to me and turned my head slowly to him, I could see Ineh watching as he bent and kissed me. It was all so erotic.

Deep in my mind I understood even before my conscious mind did, that I was about to have a ménage et trios with two complete strangers. What if they killed me afterwards? The thought excited me even more. Then I felt warm flesh against my cheeks. I broke off the kiss and turned smack into huge bouncing breasts.

I struggle not to dwell on the events of the next three hours. I will say though that it was the dirtiest most intensely pleasurable experience of my entire life.

Three hours later, spent, we all just lay on the floor slurping energy drinks. I look over at the buxom exotic creature beside me. ‘’Who are you?’’ Osa nibbled at my inner thigh as he spoke so my first thought was I heard wrong. ‘’My wife’’ he repeated at my request. 

I’d just been used for the sexual games of a deviant couple.

These are the events of the last 72 hours; the reason why I am here alone with a quarter of a bottle of absinthe gone. Who will I tell? Not a soul. If you want your secret safe, keep it to yourself. 
I pick up my phone and log into twitter. I tweet, ‘’fuck tradition, I’m drinking absinthe neat and wallowing in its bitterness. It mirrors my feeling at the moment’’.

The End

Thursday, 12 September 2013


At the bottom of the pit of misery,
regrets and wishes mingle to create the stifling aura
of defeat and hopelessness….and desperation.

Her heart beats in anticipation as the front door opens and he strides into the house after a long day at work. She looks round the set table with a smile and walks out to welcome her husband. Every fibre of her being is alive…..charged….from the tiny hairs on her body to rapidly pumping blood. She catches a glimpse of her reflection through the console mirror, her eyes are feverish. She looks good in her mesh maxi ; she is naked under the black mesh.  He will be pleased.
He is taking off his jacket as they meet in the living room. His eyes immediately begin to burn as he takes her in with his eyes. He doesn’t respond to her greeting as he grabs her roughly and begins to kiss and fondle her. His smell is a mixture of perfume, cigarettes and sweat. She is turned on. As suddenly as he had begun, he stops. He looks at her in surprise.
“I’m hungry.”

Monday, 27 May 2013


Hey y'all....It's been a minute. I missed you guys. I guess most of you know I've been away because I went off to shoot a short film for a new TV channel. Well I'm all done and back.  Even though I've been at this movie making business for eight years, I still consider myself a newbie and as such, still excited about every job I do. It was a crazzzzzy time! Favor galore and so much more.

I'm also still very much excited about my blog and having 'alone time' with you guys. I don't have a story for you today, I just want to let you know that I'm still your girl and to share a little of my shoot wit you. I'm getting ready for my next movie but hopefully I should be able to drop a story or two before I go on set.


(I can't let out more for now, forgive me ;-) )

A group of young urbanites are spending the holidays at a remote beach house. One of them winds up dead.


Here's a teaser.

(Look out for the official one too.....)

 Here are some still pictures.

 My wonderful cast
 The beach house
 Writer/producer and assistant director (yeah that's me) with the beautiful bootilicious Uche.

Oh and lest I forget,
Yeah, my foot after the shoot. Yuk huh? Mosquitoes show me pepper.

Well there you have it, a bit of my experience while shooting.  These are only some of the stills will upload more soon. Here's the full cast list.

Yemi Blaq
Uru Eke
Linda Ejiofor
Mofe Duncan
Zainab Sheriff
KC Ejelonu
Olalekan Bakare
Tunji Aderibigbe
Joy Elumelu
Emem Udonquak
James Egbuson
Bryan Okwara

See you soon with the usual story.


Sunday, 27 January 2013


The statuesque young lady at the window turns towards her friend worriedly.
"Something is wrong"
Her pretty face is squeezed in worry. She peeks at her diamond encrusted piaget limelight and lets out a worried sound. Her boyfriend Seun is three hours late. Titi has gone from angry an hour ago to plain worried. Seun was meant to pick her up at 11 am for their one o’clock flight to Port Harcourt
"Maybe his wife is giving him grief, it is a  day to valentines."
Titi snorts.
"In her mind."
She turns back to the window and continues calling his number. She must have called like twenty times but Seun doesn't pick. Titi has no doubt in her mind that something is wrong. She knows for a fact that Seun would never  treat her this way. If for some reason he can't take her call, he would send her a bbm, stating why.

She'd met Seun three years ago, just eight months into his marriage with his boring 'arrangie' wife. His marriage is a strategic alliance between two monarch's using their children. Seun is not the cheating type but there is little for him in the marriage. They had met at a friends party and had instantly hit it off. Then Titi was squatting with her friend Adesuwa in a small flat off Allen and taking her daily dose of 'squatters insults'.
Three months down the line, he had moved her to SWAN apartments in Banana Island. The serviced apartments are the height of luxury in Lagos.  She now has two boutiques one on the Island and one on the mainland, three cars  all in her name and is generally living the life. Her personal house in Magodo is at the roofing stage. Her friends are not entirely sure there is no black-magic involved as it had all happened too quickly, how else do you explain a man leaving his wife a day before her birthday which is on valentines day, to spend it with his side chick?
They do not understand. Titi does not agree that she is a side chick. They are both from Ibadan and she has a good relationship with Seun's mother. Besides Seun is royalty and is allowed more than one wife.
Adesuwa's voice breaks into her thoughts.
"Ah maybe the man has come to his senses oh and decided to do the right thing abeg."
Titi was raised in the slums of Ibadan but had had the privilege of a good education on account of a childless aunt. She had schooled herself to emulate the snobbery of the rich kids so as to blend in and  now she turned her frostiest gaze at Adesuwa.
Adesuwa hesitates briefly but carries on.
"Meaning babe, you don't take a man away from his wife at a time like this."
"Adesuwa whose side are you on?"
"The side of what is right, it's valentines day tomorrow and it's her birthday."
"And he wants to be with me."
"Hmmm Titi, you're not even thinking about tomorrow...karma is a female dog oh."
"No  Adesuwa, you're the one whose a bitch. A fucking jealous bitch. What the fuck is all this about sef?
Adesuwa is thrown off guard and stares in open mouthed shock at Titi.
Titi stalks to the door and throws it open.
At that moment, Seun walks in looking dishevelled  and dazed. Adesuwa picks up her bag and without a word to either of them, she walks out.
Seun had gotten some really bad news on his way to pick her and had had to sort out some stuff as a matter of urgency before he could get to her. That is Seun's story and she believes him. He never lied to her, even when it hurt. Seun is quiet through most of the flight to PH and the drive to Okrika. Titi assumes he is still in shock and leaves him be. He would share when he felt like and Titi would listen and then try as much as she can to make him feel better about whatever it is.
Titi is standing in front of the mirror in a nude Carine Gilson Chantilly lace and silk negligee, she squirts Chanel number 5 on her wrist  and turns to Seun with a seductive smile. She looks good and feels good and is set to make him feel good and forget whatever it is that has been bugging him. For the first time today, he looks himself.
He brushes his open palm across her nipples and watches with boyish pleasure as they harden in response. It is a little pre fore play game of their's. Titi's nipples are extra sensitive but he doesn't know this and just assumes it is her reaction to him each time.
"I love you Titi"
Wow, that's a first......something big is about to happen. Titi can just tell.

The room is a little too cold for Titi and Seun's hands are freezing but she is reluctant to spoil the mood so she clenches her teeth and relaxes as Seuns cold tongue flickers up and down her clitoris.  Titi wonders briefly what kind of mad woman had a man like Seun and didn't go out of her way to keep him satisfied. Two orgasms later, it is her turn to please him. She  goes on her knees with her ample bottom in the air and her waist arced as far into the mattress as it could possibly go. Seun is poised to penetrate, his eyes glazed with lust when her phone begins to ring.
"Who the hell?"
She wiggles her bottom and turns invitingly to Seun in an obvious 'lets ignore it' move  but neither Seun nor the caller is having any of it.
"Turn it off."
He orders gruffly.
Still in position, she reaches for her phone and turns it off not before she see's Adesuwa's name flash across the LCD.
"Bloody witch."
She thinks as she flings the phone across the bed and smiles invitingly at Seun.
Valentines day dawns bright and beautiful.  Seun takes both their phones and shuts them in a drawer, no interruption from the outside world he says. They spend the day at Seun's friends private beach in the creeks, eating grilled fish, drinking champagne and making love. By six thirty they are drunk on food,alcohol and sex. They retire early as they have to be in PH at seven am tomorrow to catch the first flight back to Lagos and straight to Ibadan. As she gets into bed, Seun pulls her close, she wiggles invitingly.
"Stop it wench."
She giggles
I just want you to know, you've made me very happy. Happy valentines baby. He hands her a slightly bulky manila envelope. She opens it excitedly and inside, is the title deed for her apartment. She flings herself into his arms and smothers him with kisses. This morning she'd given him a limited edition Waterman Edson 125 ans, (it is always hard to buy things for men like Seun) and she gets a four bedroom luxury apartment in banana Island in return?
"I love you Titi......very, very much."
"I love you Seun."
Titi is shocked to realize that she means it.
Where is the marriage proposal though, she was so expecting it.
Maybe tomorrow, they are still spending a couple of days in Ibadan together.
Getting to Lagos, Seun gets a call and has to go into town for a couple of hours. He pays an airport taxi to take Titi to Ibadan and promises to see her by evening. She offers to go home and wait so they can make the drive together but he insists that she go ahead since her mother is expecting her. He kisses her and hands her back her phone.
Titi turns to look at Seun and he is still standing there, clutching his carry all in one hand and waving with the other. She blows him a kiss and catches the drivers eyes through the rear view mirror. He is smiling indulgently at them.
"Aunty, love sweet ooh."
She smiles at him and settles in for the two hour trip to Ibadan.  As she turns on her phone, she gets the insert sim card message. She takes out the battery to check and lo, her sim card is not in the allocated slot. Strange, she didn't take it out, she seriously doubts if Seun had and it couldn't have just fallen out on it's own. Ah well, she settles back for a nap as the car zooms off to Ibadan.
Titi checks her make up as the cab pulls into her estate, it is common knowledge that she is Seun's girl friend and most people expect wedding bells soon. Titi loves playing and looking the part. As the car parks in  front of her mothers house the door is flung open and her mother rushes out weeping. Titi is taken aback . She cannot make out what her mother is on about  as she hugs Titi and weeps profusely. A small crowd is gathering and Titi is getting scared and uncomfortable.
Now the cabbie is croaking...What the hell?
Titi turns to the driver. He looks petrified as he points at something on the wall. She looks as it seems everyone expects her to. There on the wall is Seun's obituary announcement. He died in a motor accident at nine am on the thirteenth.



Sunday, 6 January 2013


“…of darkness then light.
Of complete cession.
Boom boom, boom boom.
Of silence eternal.
The end…..”
I am Dubem.  I woke up this morning with a stifling sense of foreboding. Lo, my wife Uchenna lay shivering in a pool of her own sweat.
It’s a hot day in Yola and I am sweating and panting as I climb up hill to the Church of Assumption. I’d had to park at the bottom of the hill as the car park is full. I love my wife Uchenna and I would die for her but this errand is one I wish I didn’t have to run. It is a Sunday morning and my wife is home alone and ill in bed and I would much rather be at home with her. Unfortunately Felicia her best friend is leaving for the States tonight and Uchenna has a package for her sister, so here I am. A young man brushes past me and hurries on up without an apology. His yellow caftan makes me uneasy but I brush off the feeling.  I have to hurry back to my wife is my one consuming thought.
I haven’t been in a church since my wedding three years ago and to say it feels strange is an understatement. I sit myself at the back and wait as I have sent a bb message to Felicia. I wonder how much of the mass I would have to take before she comes to relieve me. I try to listen as the priest talks about God’s love. His voice has a hypnotic quality and for the first time today my sense of foreboding eases off a little. I say a little prayer for Uchenna as a fat lady with two kids squeezes past me to sit at the other end of the pew. One of the kids a little girl of about four years old smiles at me. She has the most beautiful eyes I've ever seen. I smile back.
Suddenly, I hear a sound like a banger and I feel intense burning heat from my inside. It started at the back of my throat and in the blink of an eye it consumes my whole body. I do not know what to think. I black out briefly. When I come to, it’s cold, very cold and misty. The church is empty seems like mass is over. Where is Felicia then? A yellow fabric clad limb catches my attention. Why is there a severed arm lying on the aisle? I pick myself and Uchenna’s package up off the floor and take a few steps forward. My foot encounters something which rolls slightly. It is the slightly charred head of my little friend; her eyes are glazed in an eternal question. I begin to cry.
“What is this?”
My eyes suddenly seem to open and all around me is death. A woman with both legs blown off stares ahead in a state of shock, the priest is slumped against the podium, impaled by a large piece of metal. I can neither hear nor smell anything but I feel fine except for an overwhelming spring of sorrow in my soul.   I can’t take much more of this; I have to get home to Uchenna. As I turn to look once more at my little friend, I see me. Half of my head is blown off. I stare in fascination as grey matter tinged with blood seep out of the jagged gaping wound.
I will myself to wake up from this bad dream. It works as the gruesome scene fades away.
Uchenna goes to the table and tries to eat the breakfast that Dubem made for her. She smiles fondly as she feels the stone cold boiled yam. It hadn’t occurred to him that by the time she’d be ready to eat, the yams would be quite cold and inedible. She eats the cold eggs and swallows the analgesic. They are going to the hospital as soon as Dubem returns. She flops on the sofa and turns on the TV. “Breaking News on Aljazeera, a suicide bomber today detonated himself…….” The bell peals four times in sets of twos. Dubem is back she goes to get the door.
“The steady unrest and menace of boko haram is steadily working on everyone’s nerves…..”
She thinks as she opens the door to Dubem.  A news reporter’s voice comes on on the TV;
“…..the body count so far at the church of Assumption in Mubi, Yola State has been placed at thirty; there are no survivors from the main auditorium of the church.”
Uchenna opens the door slowly. There isn't anyone there, only the sticky taped wrapped package that her husband had taken out this morning lay at the door step.

Saturday, 29 December 2012



Mrs Phillips cast sidelong glances at her grand daughter and great grand daughter as they each sit lost in thought and bouncing softly as the car's wheels encountered potholes. They are on their way to Lokoja to bury her daughter Yejide. It had taken nothing short of  the threat of her dying to get Titi to come back home to Nigeria to honor her late mother. In her eighty years of existence, Mrs Phillips has learnt that every of  life's choices carries a price tag, and that people will always pay for their choices in their life time. As she dozes off, she reminisces about some of her life's choices and the prices she'd had to pay. She remembers how for years after marriage she had been without a child. How her in-laws had made her life miserable. She remembers crying to bed every night in despair. She remembers getting on her husbands' nerves as he insisted that it was him she was married to and he married her because he loved her and not just to bear kids. She remembers following her friend Keji to Iya Efun. Iya Efun assured her that everything would be fine and prescribed a sacrifice to the river goddess. She remembers the sacrifice; one guinea fowl, one mirror, and a  bowl of honey. Then there was the strange dream afterwards.  She'd been at the pool and some lady had tried to pull her under. They'd struggled a while but somehow it'd ended on a friendly note. Her "friend" told her she would have a child but she had to promise to share her. She had flippantly agreed but forgot the dream as soon as she'd woken up. It wasn't until ten years later when her daughter Yejide had gotten missing on a trip to the beach that she'd remembered. It was a picnic, the parents were sitting in the shade keeping an eye on the kids who were picking shells. When it was time to leave, all the children were accounted for but Yejide. For the next three days, Mrs Phillips was inconsolable as they searched high and low without any sign of Yejide. On the third day, groggy from sedation, she'd heard screams and had rushed out to see a beaming Yejide fly into her arms. After several hours of grilling all they could get from Yejide was that a nice,beautiful lady had seen her lost and had taken her in. This was met with mixed feelings as they all wondered why said "nice" lady hadn't tried to contact them since Yejide's picture had been on TV from the very next day. When they probed further, Yejide became extremely agitated. They returned to the beach and combed the shore looking for "nice" lady's house to no avail. They returned home and resolved to forget the incident just glad that Yejide was back home. A day after the shore search,Yejide came out to meet Mrs Phillips in the garden, the story that she told her chilled Mrs Phillips' to the bone. The story was for her ears alone and no one else was ever to hear it as Yeye had instructed. According to her, she'd been playing with a turtle when the nice beautiful lady had called her into the water. She'd asked her to call her Yeye and told  her that she was also friends with her mother. She had been taken on a tour of the sea and it had been so much fun. Yeye had given her a white peacock but had promised to take care of it for her until she was old enough. She told her mum  that she hadn't been there more than thirty minutes and was surprised that they said she'd been gone three days. Mrs Phillips was sweating profusely by the time Yejide was done. she remembered her dream right after the sacrifice, right before she took in.
"What have I done"?
She thought fearfully.
Strangely enough when she approached her again a few days later to retell her story, it seemed like Yejide's memory of the event had been wiped clean. She couldn't remember anything.
Twenty years ago, Yejide had again answered Yeye's call. Unlike her first disappearance, Mrs Phillips knew her child was alive. While everyone worried themselves sick, she waited. She waited for three months then one day a letter came; It was from Yejide. Despite her express wish to be left alone, Mr Phillips made them make the trip to Lokoja to "bring back his child". That it was futile was evident as soon as they set eyes on her in the shrine amidst her peacocks. Mr Phillips returned home broken hearted. Titi, Yejide's daughter never forgave her for abandoning her.

Elaine can't sit still from excitement. They are in Lokoja for her grandmothers funeral but they have been sitting in the car for almost an hour. The twelve year old is getting restless. Suddenly she finds herself out of the car and sitting in front of the bamboo shack, she'd been staring at from the car window a moment ago. Her grand mother is sitting on a stool across from her and smiling at her. She recognizes her from her pictures. They are surrounded  by peacocks. Cradled in her grand mothers arms,  is an albino peacock which she stretches out to Elaine. Elaine accepts the peacock but thrusts it back into her grand mothers arms quickly. It is as cold as ice. Yejide looks disappointed as she shakes her head questioningly at Elaine. Elaine shakes her head  in confirmation and immediately wakes up.

Yejide died on the morning of her fifty first birthday. Devotees had come to meet her sitting among her peacocks, in her customary white and blue cotton iro and buba. Her head was leaned on a bamboo pole as though only dozing. She was stone cold dead, with a serene smile on her face. All efforts to get her to the cemetery had failed. No car would start with her body in it but the same car would, when she was taken out. Eventually devotees attempted to carry her in a donkey drawn hearse. As soon as her body was placed in the hearse, the donkey slumped and died. It became obvious that she did not want to be moved. They tried to put her body in the water but it seemed like the water didn't want it either. Eventually Baba Dupe the fisherman was contacted from his hospital bed in the UK. He told them to get in touch with her daughter, that she would know what to do. Initially Titi had refused to return but Mrs Phillip knew the buttons to press, the most efficient being Gerald, Titi's white husband.

Titi is right upset about sitting at the side of the road in a strange town for close to two hours while her mother's corpse refused to be moved. She had no clue as to Baba Dupes' claims about knowing what to do but here she was. Suddenly Elaine jumps out of the car and races towards her grand mothers bamboo shrine. Titi screams in horror and chases after her but she is no match for the twelve year old's speed. She stops short and watches with the crowd of devotees as Elaine fearlessly picks up an albino peacock from the group of peacocks and sets it in the water. The crowd watch in shock as the peacock swims a little way off like a duck then dips its head into the water and is submerged. As Elaine returns to her mother, the car with Yejide's body starts and the funeral procession drive straight to the cemetery.